Open Audition
by HeroR
Summary: Picking a pirate crew it tough, especially if one is inspiring to become the next Pirate King. Luffy may have a sure fire method of choosing his crewmates now, but he hasn't always had it easy.


**Wow, two stories within such a short amount of time. Do not get use to this kind of pacing. The plot bunny has been working over time and this story came into my mind as soon as I finished Bulletproof. I also may not update as much because I will be in school and I am also getting my computer service. Fun times.**

**Anyway, this story is based on the idea on how the Rumble Pirates and the Fake Strawhat recruited their crewmates. When I watched those scenes, I wondered why Luffy did not do something similar when he was building his own crew back in East Blue. The easy answer would be to say that Oda could not possibly write a story of a thirty something member pirate crew, but if that was an in-story reason.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece. Otherwise, I would have a life.**

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><p><strong>Open Audition<strong>

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><p>Luffy gave a loud yawn as he stretched his arms in his boat. Waking up to the smell of the salty sea was a strange change from the mountain air he had gotten used on Dawn Island. Nonetheless, it was a good change. After ten years of struggling, training, avoiding murders, and slave traders, he was finally off to achieve his life long dream. He was going to be the Pirate King.<p>

He smiled to himself as he thought about meeting up with Shanks. He wondered how he and the others were doing. Were they off on some grand adventure? Were they on some island partying and drinking up all the booze? Did they even remember him after all this time?

Luffy shook his head when that thought crossed his mind. Of course Shanks would remembered him. Shanks promised to meet him again once he has became a great pirate. Not to mention he still had Shanks' hat, which he knew he would want it back.

He removed the strawhat in question and stared at it for a long moment as the cool ocean's breeze wash over him. Luffy never really thought about the origins of Shanks' hat. All he really knew was that it was extremely important to him. Shanks wouldn't let anyone, even him, touch it, saying that it has been with him for years and it was his most precious treasure. He wondered if someone he admired gave the hat to Shanks. If that was the case, who could have earned such devotion and trust from Shanks? Was he a great pirate too?

Now that he thought about it, he remembered Shanks saying once that someone he called a father figure gave him his hat. That person must have been great if he was Shanks' father figure.

It really didn't matter, however. As far as Luffy was concern, the strawhat would always belong to Shanks and he had every intention of given it back to him.

Speaking of meeting people, Luffy began to wonder about his brother. It has been awhile since he had read up on Ace. The last time he checked, he was still causing mischief on the Grand Line with his crew called the Spade Pirates. He couldn't wait to see his older brother again and meet his crew personally. If they sailed under Ace's flag, they had to be extremely strong.

Luffy gave a huge grin to himself as he thought about testing his strength against Ace once again. He won't lose. He was going to build the greatest crew in the world. A crew so powerful that it would put to shame any pirate crew on the sea. If he was going to be the Pirate King, he couldn't accept anything less.

As that thought entered his mind, a sudden realization hit him. How exactly was he going to find his crew?

Luffy sat up in his boat and got into a cross-legged position as he rubbed his chin.

He had never asked Shanks how he built his crew. The thought never even crossed his mind until now. Did Shanks meet them individually or did he just walk in some place and asked people to join?

After a few more minutes of thinking and setting his brain on fire, Luffy finally gave up. Whatever, he would just ask someone when he reached the next island.

After another day and a half of sailing endlessly, Luffy was delighted to see an island in the distance. He could also see the silhouette of a town as well off the coast. It was great timing too since his food was running short. Sailing across the sea was cool, but it sucked that he had to ration his food supple. He had quickly learned that fishing wasn't a sure fire way to get food, unlike hunting in the forest. He missed eating meat everyday.

It was another hour before Luffy's boat finally hit land and the overanxious rubber boy jumped onto wooden deck. Luffy felt his legs give a little from underused, causing him to nearly trip. He rubbed his legs to try to get some feeling back into them. As long as he had waited to become a pirate, he wasn't accustomed to sea life yet. Hopefully, he will get a real ship soon so he could at least move around when he sailed.

After a few more seconds of stretching, Luffy began to look around the harbor. The deck was full with pirate ships, which kind of surprise him. This was the first time he has seen so many pirates in one place and out in the open. Even Shanks used to dock his ship on the far side of the village, so passerby wouldn't see them.

Luffy grin, nonetheless, became even brighter. That meant there would be more people to recruit for his own crew. He practically bounced on the balls of his feet as he made his way into the town.

From what Luffy could see so far, it was a common port town that reminded him very much of his home village. The only real different was that the town smelt of fresh fish and alcohol instead of cows and horses.

"Excuse me!" Luffy yelled when he saw a nearby fisherman. "Can you tell me where all the pirates are at?"

The fisherman gave him a dirty look. "Oh, so you're a pirate too."

Luffy crossed his arms proudly. "Yep."

"Like we need more of your kind around here," the fisherman said bitterly. "Why don't you guys leave us alone?"

Luffy knew by the man's demeanor that he didn't like pirates. He couldn't blame the man too much since, save for Shanks, most pirates he ever met were jerks. He still cringed as he remembered Bluejam and how he completely lost his mind as everything burn around them.

"There're pirates everywhere in this town," the fisherman said in a defeated tone. "Most can be found in the local tavern."

Luffy smiled and nodded. "Thanks, old man."

He then ran off in the opposite direction. If this village was anything like his home, he knew the tavern would be in the middle of town.

Sure enough, Luffy's instinct proved to be correct. What did surprise him, however, was how big the tavern was. It was nothing like Makino's bar or even the pubs found in Goa. This place was as big as a two-story house. No wonder pirates flocked to this place. Alcohol was a magnet for pirates.

Luffy didn't wait a moment longer as he walked through the double doors and was greeted by the sounds of music, glass clattering, and a cloud of tobacco smoke. The tavern was full with rough looking men who seem to have seen their fair amount of sea life. They were definitely dirtier looking than Shanks' crew and seemed meaner too. Some of the pirates glanced up to look at Luffy, but most chose to completely ignore him.

Luffy continued to look around as he made his way towards the bar on the far side of the room. The bartender was a fairly fat man with a large mustache that looked like it was being held together with grease. He was also bald and looked to have lived a hard life himself.

"What can I do for you?" the bartender asked as he cleaned one of his glasses.

"I want meat, sir," Luffy answered almost rudely.

The bartender looked slightly surprise by the request. "Not too many people asked for food in a tavern. My stuff is average at best."

"I haven't eaten in awhile, so I'm hungry," Luffy said bluntly as he took a seat on the barstool.

The bartender shook his head. "I'll put a couple steaks on the grill. It's one of the few things edible around here."

Luffy was already drooling from the mere thought. There was nothing in the world like freshly cooked steak.

After about ten minutes had passed, the steaks were done and Luffy eagerly bit into them.

"Be careful, they're..." the bartender started to say.

"HOT!" Luffy screamed as he attempted to fan his burning tongue. Some of the pirates turned to stare at him and snickered at the young boy's foolishness.

"I tried to warn you," the bartender sighed as he filled a glass of water and handed it to Luffy, who greedily drunk it.

Once Luffy's tongue had cool down, he began to eat his meat again, although much slower this time.

"So, what's a kid like you doing in a crap sack town like this?" the bartender asked.

"I'm looking to build a pirate crew," Luffy said with a mouthful of meat.

The bartender gave him a strange look. "Aren't you a little young to be making your own crew? Kids your age should be a cabin boy or something."

"I'm no cabin boy," Luffy all but growled as he shallow his steak. "I'm going to be the Pirate King."

The bartender stared at him with wide eyes for a moment before he burst into laugher. "You...you're going to be the Pirate King! Well, if nothing else, you sure aim high."

Luffy nodded. "I need a strong, loyal crew to help me sail the Grand Line. Do you know anyone around here that will join me?"

"Well, this is pretty much a pirate town, much to the locals' horror," the bartender said with a small chuckle. "Because we're so far from most marine's bases and routes, this place has become an ideal place for pirates and other lowlifes to hangout. If you want to build a pirate crew, this is the place to do it."

"Great!" Luffy cheered happily. He was one step closer towards his dream.

"Although, pickings maybe lower than usual," the bartender suddenly said.

"Why?" Luffy asked as he chewed on another piece of steak.

"A bounty hunter has been capturing a lot of pirates in these parts over the last couple of months, making some people too timid to go out to sea," the bartender answered.

"This bounty hunter must be really strong," Luffy said in awe. He wondered if he could ask this bounty hunter to join his crew if he ever ran into him.

"Given that this is East Blue, it's hard to really say," the bartender stated. "This is the weakest of all the seas, making it hard to judge anyone on their merit. It's very common for a person who had conquered the East Blue to be smash to pieces on the Grand Line."

Luffy stopped eating for a moment as he considered the old man's words.

"But, before you start building any kind of a crew, do you even have a sea worthy ship?" the bartender suddenly asked as he looked over Luffy. "There's no point getting a crew if you have no place to even put them."

Luffy had a thoughtful look on his face. "Well, my brother told me that I should get a crew first before buying a ship. That way everyone can chip in on the cost. Either that or go steal from a noble."

"Well, your brother is very wise," the bartender said, although the stealing part did unnerve him. "Even a small ship around here can cost well over fifty-million belli."

"That much!?" Luffy asked in shock.

"Well, if you don't have quality in mind, you can find one for far less," the bartender said with a slight shrug. "But if you're going to go anywhere near the Grand Line, you don't want a cheap ass ship. That thing will burst apart just at the entrance." He suddenly got a serious look on his face. "A ship is a pirate's home and is by far the most important part of any crew. If a ship fails, your life, as well as your crew's, is forfeited."

"Huh, I never thought of it that way," Luffy muttered. This old man was given some good advice.

"And if you ask me, the most important member of any crew is the navigator," the bartender continued.

"Really?" Luffy questioned.

The bartender nodded. "The navigator plots your course and gets you to point A to point B alive. Having a crappy navigator is one of the quickest ways to an unceremonious death. Even if you have to pay for one, find yourself a good navigator. There's nothing scary than being caught in a thunderstorm with a shitty navigator, I'll tell you that." He began to shiver as if reliving a very bad memory.

"Old man, are you a pirate?" Luffy finally asked.

"Was, I gave up the sea a long time ago, son," the bartender said with a wave of a hand. His face suddenly crinkled in disgust. "It isn't like the old days. These rookies who sail these seas now just want to go around and murder and pillage everything. As far as I'm concern, there are few true pirates left in the world."

"_Funny, did Shank say something similar once?_" Luffy thought to himself. "You have such disdained towards pirates, but you work in a bar full of them."

The bartender shrugged. "Hey, it's a living. Besides sailing, there isn't much I do know how to do."

"Hey, why don't you joining my crew?' Luffy suddenly asked with a wide smile. "An old sea salt like you would be a great first member."

"Please, my sea days are long over, son," the bartender laughed. "I'm more than content living out my days here. Even if I am surrounded by sewer rats."

"Oh," Luffy said as he slumped in his stool.

The bartender suddenly paused in thought for a moment. "Tell you what. I like you. How about I let you have an open audition here?"

Luffy blinked in confusion. "What's an open audition?"

"Back in the old days, pirate crews used to recruit their members by having an audition. You make an announcement in town or set up posters, stuff like that. You then interview anyone that comes in and decide if they become a part of your crew," the bartender explained. "Simple and easy."

"Wow, that could really work!" Luffy exclaimed excitedly.

"If you do this, I suggest you be very careful on who you chose," the bartender warned. "Picking your crewmates is the most important job of a captain. These are people who will be by your side day and night and will become even closer to you than your own momma. Picking poorly could mean a swift death."

Luffy nodded in agreement. Shanks once told him something similar years ago and it was something he had never forgotten. He told him that it was better to have a small crew that you trust your life to than a big crew that could stab you in the back. It only took one person to betray everyone.

"Thanks, old man," Luffy said before he suddenly stood on his barstool and faced the other pirates in the tavern. "Hey listen up, I'm holding an open audition here tomorrow! I'm looking for a strong, able crew that's willing to sail into the Grand Line! If you're willing to be part of the crew of the Pirate King, then join me!"

The bartender was shock by how forth coming Luffy was. He definitely held no secrets.

"Pirate King?" one of the pirates whispered. "Is he serious?"

One of them laughed. "He's just some kid getting over his head. What does he knows about being Pirate King?"

"Hey kid, go back to reading your adventure books!" one of them mocked.

Luffy paid them no mind as he stepped down and took his seat again.

"Well, you sure know how to living up the place," the bartender stated.

"Do you think they'll spread the word?" Luffy asked.

The bartender chuckled. "I'm more than sure they'll spread the word for nothing else but to mock you."

"Good enough!" Luffy declared. "Now, give me some more meat!"

They spent the rest of the day talking and the bartender, who Luffy eventually learned was named Shirly, told Luffy stories of his days at sea. He talked a lot about the 'good old' days when pirates were more like adventurers rather than thieving thugs. Some of his most fond memories were treasure hunting and exploring uncharted islands, although, he never made it too far into the Grand Line. According to him, he wasn't hardcore enough.

Luffy was eager to listen to all these stories since they reminded him of Shanks and his adventures. Somewhere during the course of the storytelling, Luffy began to order booze along with his meat. He didn't drink often, but he was in a festive mood.

It was well past midnight and the tavern was long empty before they finally stopped talking.

"Damn, look how late it is," Shirly noted as he looked at his watch. "You better get going, kid. This town can be pretty rough at night."

Luffy finished another pint of rum before answering. "Doesn't make a different. I don't have a room." His speech was slightly slurred.

"I wouldn't have kept you so late if I've known you didn't book an inn." Shirly sighed.

"I can sleep outside," Luffy assured.

"Like hell I'm going to let you sleep outside. There are some sick people who wonder these streets and will take advantage of a young boy like you," Shirly said firmly. "I don't usually do this, but you can stay here for the night."

Luffy smiled and nodded. He had a flush look on his face and Shirly knew he had one too many. Then again, the boy did pack away nearly his entire rum supple. "Thanks old man, you're the best."

"Yeah, don't get use to it," Shirly said as he went to guide Luffy to the back room. "By how much you drank and ate today, I could buy a new tavern and I'm going to make sure you pay up."

Luffy just chuckled as he allowed himself to be led into the back room where a cot was setup. Luffy was out before his head hit the pillow.

Luffy wasn't sure how long he was out, but he knew that he had one heck of a headache when he woke up. Not to mention that he was slightly sick to his stomach. Maybe he ate too much meat yesterday.

"Hey, you're awake back there?" Shirly asked as he walked into the room.

"Yeah..." Luffy slurred as he rubbed his eyes.

"Here, this will help ease your hangover," Shirly said as he handed Luffy a cup with a strange brown liquid inside.

Luffy gratefully took the cup and took a sip. He cringed the moment the fluid touch his tongue. "This is nasty."

"I know, but make sure you drink all of it," Shirly advised. "It wouldn't look good if the people you're recruiting see their future captain hangover."

"Huh?" Luffy looked confused for a moment before he remembered audition. "Oh, I've forgot!"

"Figured as much," Shirly said with a smirk. "The first couple of people have already arrived. I took the liability of telling them that the audition starts at noon."

"What time is it now?" Luffy asked as he finished the bitter drink.

"Just a little past eleven," Shirly said. "So, get wash. You smell like alcohol."

Luffy grumbled something under his breath as he forced himself up. Thankfully, Shirly had an indoor shower, something that Luffy haven't seen in years.

Within thirty-minutes, Luffy was clean and mostly cleared headed again. He felt almost normal except for the slight buzz that wouldn't go away.

When he got into the main part of the tavern, he saw that Shirly had set up a round table in the middle of the room with two chairs on either side. Luffy could also hear the crowd outside through the open window. There was talking, but he was too far to hear any of it.

"Just in time," Shirly said as he finished setting everything up. "These lugs are starting to become anxious."

Luffy took a sit and made himself comfortable. "Thanks again for everything old man."

"Thank me when you find a worthy crewmate. If you're lucky, you're find one good person in this group of losers," Shirly said. He then went to the entrance and opened the double doors. "Okay, we're ready to start the audition. The captain here will be interviewing you one by one. Any trouble makers will be expel, no exceptions."

There were some muttering, but it didn't go beyond that.

"Okay, first person," Shirly said.

Luffy waited impatiently as his first interview walked in. The man was fairly tall with a stereotypical blue pirate's coat and an eye-patch over his left eye. Luffy already like the man because he looked so cool. He wanted that coat, but in a different color.

"Old man, that's a cool eye-patch," Luffy said bluntly with stars in his eyes.

The man's one good eye twitched. "I'm not an old man. I'm in my twenties."

Luffy blinked at him a couple of times. The guy looked to be more in his mid-fifties. "Okay..."

There was a long uncomfortable pause.

"Ask for his name," Shirly muttered harshly into Luffy's ear.

"So, what's your name, old man?" Luffy asked in his most polite voice.

"I'm not an old man and the name's Jason!" the man growled.

"So, you want to be a pirate?" Luffy asked dimly, not taking noticed of the man's foul mood. He was actually quite nervous since he didn't know what to ask the man. He always figured he could just feel for his perfect crewmate.

"Yeah, looking for a new crew after my old one kicked me out, the bastards," Jason said with an edge of anger.

Luffy tilted his head. "Why were you kicked out?"

"I shot the quartermaster," Jason stated bluntly.

"What...what?" Luffy muttered in disbelief.

"The bastard tried to cheat me out of money after I beat him in poker, so I shot his fat ass," Jason explained. He was barely containing his anger. "The captain had a fit and sent me adrift. That stupid shithead could have killed me if I didn't find that fishing boat. It's not like a killed the guy."

"Okay," Luffy said slowly as he blinked several times. He really didn't need to hear anymore. He didn't want to sail with a person who would purposely harm his or her own crewmate.

"I think that ends this interview," Shirly said, reading Luffy's thoughts.

Jason glared at Luffy. "What, are you going to be a pussy just because I drew some blood?"

"It isn't good for a person to attack their crew member," Luffy said firmly.

"As long as they don't mess with me, I won't shot them," Jason said coldly.

Luffy shook his head. "It doesn't work like that. Your crew is your family."

Shirly looked at Luffy in surprise. He wasn't expecting to hear such words from Luffy.

"Family, huh? How touching," Jason mocked as he stood up. "You know what, I wouldn't want call a bitch like you captain anyway. We have enough pansies on these seas," he spat as he knocked over his chair and walked out the door.

"That was strange," Luffy muttered. What was wrong with that man?

Shirly shook his head. "You're get use to it. Most pirates have hair-trigger tempers," he said as he went to get the next interviewer.

The next person that walked in was a fat man with a large t-shirt and blue jeans. He had a good overall build and seemed to be a person who knew his way around a ship. He reminded Luffy of a club bouncer.

"Hey, what's your name?" Luffy asked cheerfully, hoping that this interview would go better.

"Joe," he answered bluntly.

"So, why do want to be a pirate?" Luffy asked.

"I just want to get out of this dull town and go out to sea," Joe said.

Luffy smiled brightly. "Oh, so you want to go on great adventures too."

"Screw the adventures. If I wanted to do that, I would become an explorer or some shit like that. I want to be a pirate," Joe said with a wave of his hand.

"But you will be a pirate," Luffy said in confusion.

"I mean a real pirate," Joe said with almost a sadistic smile. "One that does whatever they please and take whatever they want. I want to be part of a pirate crew like the Krieg Pirates or even the Black Cat Pirates. Not these pussy foot pirates that goes around treasure hunting and searching for some whack dream."

Luffy narrowed his eyes. "What's wrong with pirates like that?"

"They aren't real pirates," Joe stated coldly. "There're pirates in name only as far as I'm concern."

"So, you just want to go around and cause terror to people?" Luffy asked in a deadpan voice.

"What's the point of being a pirate if you can't do stuff like that?" Joe asked before a realization hit him. "Let me guess, you're one of those foolish dreamers who believe in the One Piece."

Luffy nodded and smiled. "Yeah, I'm going to be the Pirate King."

Joe burst out laughing. "You, a skinny boy who doesn't even know what it means to be a pirate? What a load of crap."

"I know what it means to be a pirate," Luffy said coldly as he titled his hat forward. "Being a pirate doesn't mean randomly hurting people. It's about companionship, adventure, and freedom."

"Who taught you that load of bull?' Joe mocked. "Some half-ass pirate who couldn't cut it I bet."

Luffy shot up to his feet and glared at Joe. He was ready to pound the man into the floor for insulting Shanks, even if it was indirectly. Before things could get too out of hand Shirly stepped in and pulled Joe away from Luffy.

"Let's go, son. I think you've done enough," Shirly said firmly, leaving no room for argument.

Joe snorted. "Fine by me. I wouldn't want to sail under this fool's flag anyway. I bet my ass that he will never even leave this town." He then turned to leave.

"You can't let these people get to you like that," Shirly warned in a harsh voice. "Some of them are just looking for any excuse to fight. As captain, you must know when to pick your battles."

Luffy knew he was right, but he still wanted to punch the jerk.

Shirly got the next interviewer and this person was a short man with brown hair and short beady eyes.

"So, what's your name?" Luffy asked almost rudely. That last person had put him in a bad mood.

"Scotty," the man said.

"Why do you want to be a pirate?" Luffy asked.

Scotty shrugged. "I thought it would be something cool to do."

Luffy stared at him for a moment. "That's it?"

"Pretty much," Scotty said.

"You know that's there more to being a pirate than that," Luffy said almost impatiently. "You can't go to the sea with half-ass conviction. You can die at any moment out at sea."

"Yeah, yeah." Scotty said nonchalantly. "I don't see what different it's makes as long as one is strong. I can hold my own in any fight and you need strength to conquer the Grand Line."

Luffy folded his arms. "It's takes more to being a pirate than just being strong. You need heart and dedication."

Shirly nodded in agreement.

Scotty chuckled. "Can you really afford to be that picky? I'm the strongest fighter around here who hasn't killed their liver with rum and you have no crew to speak of. You need me more than I need you."

Luffy's eye twitched in annoyance. Was everyone in this town assholes? "I don't care how strong you think you are. Being a pirate is serious business and I won't let anyone sail under me who doesn't know a thing about being a true pirate."

Scotty waved his hand as he turned around. "Fine by me. I know plenty of other crews who would welcome a man like me. I'll see you on the sea, if you make it that far."

Luffy growled as he watched the man leave. What was wrong with this town? For a supposed pirate town, these people knew nothing about being a pirate.

Before his temper could flare again, his next interview arrived. Luffy looked up to see a woman, but there was something strange about her. She had long dark hair and wore a flamboyant green dress that had gems everywhere. She reminded Luffy of women he used to see walking the streets of Goa at night. He believed Ace called them hookers, or something like that.

"Umm, so what's your name?" Luffy finally asked once he regained his voice.

"The name Missy, capitaine," the woman said in a seductive tone.

Luffy was taken completely off-guard when he heard the woman's voice. It was extremely deep. It sounded more like a man than any woman he has ever heard. Now that he looked at her, she did have a fairly masculine face for a woman and she had what looked to be a five o'clock shadow.

"Oh, you're better looking than they thought," Missy said with a smile. "I just adore the strong, boyish type."

Luffy was at a lost for words as he sucked his lips together.

Shirly saw the confuse look on Luffy's face and had to keep himself from laughing. "She's a tranny, son."

"A tranny?" Luffy asked in confusion.

"She, or should I say he, is a man who dresses as a woman," Shirly explained.

Luffy's eyes widened in surprise. He had never heard of such a thing before.

Missy giggled. "Well, you're half right, mister. I'm actually a hermaphrodite who has some alterations. I'm neither man or woman."

Shirly was taken completely off-guard by revelation. He looked more than a little disturbed. He even lost some color on his face.

Luffy looked even more confuse. "A what?"

"I have the best of both worlds, honey," Missy said as she gestured towards her entire body. She then suddenly pulled up her dressed and showed Luffy her 'goods'.

Luffy's eyes nearly popped out of his head. "Miss, you have balls!"

"And I'm bigger than most too." Missy winked. "If you're not into that kind of thing, my woman parts are more than wide enough to accommodate you. I'm sure man like you is really a big fellow downstairs."

Shirly looked like he was going to be sick, while Luffy became even more lost.

"But why would someone like you want to be a pirate?" Luffy asked once he got back to the main subject.

"Oh, I don't care about being a pirate specially," Missy admitted as she looked over Luffy like he was prime meat. "I've just found myself attractive to you since I've saw you came into town in that little boat of yours. I just had to join when I heard you were looking for a crew."

Luffy sweat-dropped as he listened to Missy talk.

Missy walked over towards the table and suddenly threw herself into Luffy's lap, freaking him out even more. This woman was impossible to predict and she was really starting to disturb him.

"Oh, you have a Devil Fruit, don't you?" Missy asked in a singsong voice as she ran a single finger down Luffy's chest, unbuttoning his vest as she went along.

Luffy was shocked by her observation as he attempted to stop himself from shivering from her touch. As hard as he tried to fight it, he actually did kind of enjoy being touch like this. "How do you know that?"

"No man has skin this soft and thick naturally. Only the power of the devil can give a man skin as smooth as silk," Missy said as she stretched the skin on his chest. "Oh, it's just like rubber. This opens up some possible."

Luffy felt himself turning red. No one has touched him like this before.

Shirly gave a nervous cough, breaking Luffy out of his stupor.

"Miss, I'm really looking for people who wants to be serious pirates," Luffy said as he pulled Missy off of him.

"But even serious pirates need some love, attention, and a place to unwind after a hard day at sea," Missy said smoothly. "I can make all your fantasies come true."

Luffy blinked in confusion. "You can make me the Pirate King?"

"I can make you feel more than just a king," Missy said with a smirk.

"Okay, I think we have heard enough of this," Shirly said as he pulled Missy completely off of Luffy. "If you just want to be someone's whore, do it on another ship."

Missy glared at the bartender as she pulled herself away from him. "I don't recall asking for your approval."

"He's not interested in you," Shirly said, losing his patience.

"You're just jealous because you can't have none of this," Missy said as she lifted her boobs in front of him.

"Who wants any of that!?" Shirly yelled, completely losing his temper.

"Ummm, he's right, miss." Luffy said, once the shock had worn out. "You seem nice and all, but I really don't want you on my crew."

Missy stiffened in shock and hurt. "What!?"

"You shouldn't be a pirate just to be with me," Luffy stated simply.

Shirly wondered if Luffy understood anything of what just happened.

Missy's eyes narrowed in anger. "Fine, your lost. Just remember, I would have been your greatest adventure." She then stomped out of the tavern, knocking some of the other men over on her way out.

"What was that all about?" Luffy asked once Missy was gone. He had seen woman act like that around Ace a couple of times, but they never came off like that.

"I'm not sure you're old enough to know," Shirly said as he wiped his forehead. He decided it was more merciful to allow Luffy to keep his innocence. It might give him nightmares if he knew what Missy wanted to do to him.

"What's up with this place?" Luffy asked after some minutes had past. "It's like no one really cares about being a pirate. They just want to cause havoc or just don't care all together."

Shirly sighed. "Like I said before, that's just how pirates are now a days. Most upcoming pirates don't give a damn about adventures or dreams. It's all about terror, greed, conquest. You're looking for a dying breed, kid."

Luffy suddenly stood up and made his way towards the doors. He slammed them opened and looked over his remaining interviewers. "Listen up! If you're looking to join a pirate crew that robs and pillage, you better go look somewhere else! This crew is only for those who are looking for adventure and freedom! Also, if you have any kind of half-ass conviction or think this is some game, then I suggest you get your asses out of here! This place is only for true pirates!"

The other pirates look at Luffy in surprise and silence fell over the group. Shirly stood back and smiled, impressed that such a young boy could have so much spirit. Maybe there was still hope for the future of pirates.

"Hey, who the hell are you to talk to us like that?" one of the men asked angrily, once he had regained his voice. "What does a brat like you know about being a 'true' pirate?"

Luffy stared at the man. "I know that a true pirate doesn't go around harming innocent people and shooting their own crewmate over something stupid. I also know someone shouldn't become a pirate just because they're bored."

"Huh, some shit brain kid is given us a lecture on how to be a pirate," one of them mocked. "Aren't you an arrogant little shit."

"You should be thankful we even humor you by coming here!" another man yelled. "You're more suited to being a pirate's whore than a pirate captain."

This caused everyone to laugh.

Luffy pouted. "I'm sure not letting you join my crew."

"This kid's a joke," someone else said. "He wants to be the Pirate King, yet he has such a naive idea about being a pirate."

"Oh, he wants to be the Pirate King? He won't make it out of East Blue," someone laughed.

They all laughed in agreement, but Luffy didn't care if they mocked him. These people didn't know what they were talking about and weren't worth his anger.

"I guess that ends the audition," Shirly said as he stepped out of his tavern. "You boys can go now."

"Hold it right there, old man," one of them said. "We wasted most of our precious afternoon coming here to hear this kid out. You can't just send us away without compensation."

"You guys came here on your own will," Shirly said calmly. "I had nothing to do with deciding how you spent your day."

A man pulled out his gun and pointed it at the bartender's head. "Wrong answer."

Luffy quickly stepped in and blocked the man's line of fire.

"You want to die?" The man asked coldly.

Luffy gave a cocky grin. "You don't have what it takes to kill me."

"You think you're stronger than a bullet?" the man mocked. "Fine, then die like the stupid boy you are." He fired his gun and hit Luffy right in his heart.

"LUFFY!" Shirly screamed in horror.

Luffy grin grew bigger as he took the bullet. His skin stretched several inches before it recoiled back and sent the bullet flying, nearly hitting the shooter, who stood in shock at what just happened.

"THE HELL!?" The man screamed in shock.

Luffy gave a boastful laugh. "I told you that you couldn't kill me."

"His skin stretched!" a man yelled in terror. "What is he!?"

Shirly's eyes widened as he remembered Missy's words. "Like rubber. Of course he would be immune to bullets."

One of the men took out his sword. "Let's see if he's immune to my sword." He charged in and attempted to chop Luffy's arm off.

Luffy dodged the blow and kicked the man so hard in the gut that he sent him flying into the building across the street.

"Dammit!" one of the pirates exclaimed. "This boy is a monster!"

Luffy decided to end the fight before more of the men decided to attack. "Gum Gum Gatling!" He began to punch rapidly, making his arms appear to multiple. Within seconds, he had knocked all the pirates out before they even realized what had happened.

"I see, so you're strong even without your Devil Fruit," Shirly noted, as he looked down at all the unconscious pirates.

"Of course," Luffy answered as his arms retracted back. "Are you okay, old man?"

Shirly shrugged. "I handled worst than these lugs, but thanks for your help regardless. I'm just sorry we couldn't find you even one worthy crewmate from this bunch."

"I guess it couldn't be help," Luffy sighed in disappointment. "It's harder than I thought building a crew."

"Naturally. If it was easy, there would be even more pirates out there," Shirly said.

"I guess," Luffy muttered.

There was a slight pause.

"So, what are you going to do now?" Shirly asked. "You could always have another audition. Once word spreads about what you've done here, you should get a better batch to chose from."

Luffy shook his head. "Nay, that's okay."

"Are you sure?" Shirly questioned.

"Yeah, I'll just build my crew along the way," Luffy said before he smiled. "That way, I know I'm chosen the right person."

Shirly raised an eyebrow. "You're going to build your crew one by one? That can take some time and you may end up with a small crew."

"It's better to have a small crew that you trust your life to than a big crew that could stab you in the back," Luffy said, repeating Shanks' words. After today's events, he fully understood why Shanks kept such a relatively small crew.

Shirly smiled. "Very wise words indeed."

"It's still early enough. I should get back to the sea," Luffy said. "Out there are my crewmates, waiting for me to find them."

"That's one way to look at it," Shirly said. "How about I treat you to one more drink, for good luck."

Luffy smiled. "I prefer meat, but sure."

They both walked back into the tavern and Shirly poured two glasses of rum. He then handed one of the glasses to Luffy.

"We should make a toast," Shirly said as he took his own glass.

Luffy tilted his head in thought. "What should we toast to?

Shirly smiled. "How about a toast to the future Pirate King."

Luffy smiled, touched by the old man's gesture. "Yeah."

"Then, to the New Pirate King and the rebirth of the Pirate Era," Shirly said as he slammed his glass against Luffy's.

* * *

><p><strong>My second one-shot and my first real attempt to make a story that is primarily humor base and not a drama fest. Although, this story did not come across as that funny to me and actually seems kind of dark with all the cussing and suggestive themes. Give me some feedback and tell me officially if my take on humor sucks as badly as I think.<strong>

**Also, thanks for all your feedback on Bulletproof. Once again, you guys are awesome.**


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